My Poor Baby

Well - we found out what is wrong with Will. I just knew it wasn't general fussiness! Will would really look to be in pain sometimes when he passed gas.

We went to the pediatrician yesterday. Dr. Castles found a little bit of blood in his stool, so we think he may be intolerant of milk protein. (I mistakenly thought yesterday afternoon that he was lactose intolerant but have since learned that very few babies are actually lactose intolerant. That would mean that he couldn't digest even my breastmilk. Being intolerant of the milk protein is something most babies get over and are able to digest as it is slowly reintroduced to their diet.)

In order to figure this out for sure, I have been ordered to cut out all dairy from my diet. Y'all - that is HARD. My favorite foods are pizza and cheese!!! It may sound silly but, wow - what a sacrifice for me. I don't know if I will have to cut it all out completely for as long as I am breastfeeding yet ... oh I hope not. Of course, I also hated to hear that is because of me that he has been so uncomfortable. At least, Will's fussy, painful issues may be curable. We have a few other options if he isn't better by Thursday. In the meantime - got any non-dairy recipes out there? Please pass them on!! I never really realized how many things had dairy in them until I was ordered to cut them out - no cheese, sour cream, milk, butter, cream cheese !!!! Ah!!!! Umm...I could seriously eat a whole pizza by myself - I love it that much. And I put cheese on everything!

It also hurt bad to throw out all the milk supply I was building so I could safely leave the house without Will. (I was really looking forward to getting a haircut and facial soon!) I had 3 and 1/2 feedings built up and now have to start over. :( Ugh!


But - Will is worth the sacrifice. And I do plan on reminding him of this when he is a teenager and fighting with me! :)



When Ellis told his mom about this last night, she remembered that he couldn't take regular formula and had to be put on soy milk formula. So looks like its Dad's fault that I can't eat dairy! :)




On a good note -- Will is slowly letting me put him down in his car seat during the day again. We're working on it. I love holding and snuggling with him, but Mom needs a break!

Oh! And Will weighed 8 pounds and 9 ounces yesterday! Getting to be a big boy!!

One Month Update and Random Pictures

Sleepy Boy!

Checking things out.

Tummy time! Will tolerates this for about 5 minutes at a time. But he can move his head from side to side and lift it a little shakily already.

Sleeping in his pack n' play on Friday afternoon. This lasted all of about 5 minutes before he cried to be held again. Fun while it lasted!

After bath time last night. Sweet Will!

I know its been a long time since I've updated the blog! (The convenience of having a laptop downstairs at the kitchen table went away when Ellis went back to work.) We're still here and all is going well. (well - sort of - see below). Will turned one month old last Wednesday, which is so hard to believe sometimes. He is still as cute as a button and continues to challenge us each day. He does all kinds of things now that make him more and more of a "baby" and less of a "blob." :) He notices his reflection in the mirror and loves to stare at it - particularly at bath time. I sponge him off or give him a full bath each night around 8pm to signal "nighttime"(both of which have gotten easier and easier - no poo water!). He also loves to watch facial expressions more and more. He makes all kinds of new little noises and looks interested when we copy his noise. He definitely notices if Ellis or me talk to him from some distance away - looking in our direction. And he stretches SO hard when he first wakes up, which is terribly adorable.

The last two days have had blissful sleep at night! We seem to have figured something out (hope I'm not jinxing us by saying this). I'm sleeping propped up in bed against a big pillow off of the sofa and Will sleeps on my chest between me and a boppy pillow. I sleep much better than "real co-sleeping" because I'm not worried about crushing him. And he likes it much better because he isn't lying alone on a mattress. Last night we slept almost 7 hours - with 3 feedings and a diaper change dispersed in between. But WOW!! Between 12am and 9:30am we got almost 7 hours? What heaven!!

Last Monday was Ellis's first day back at work and my first day all alone with Will. Monday through Wednesday went really well though. We had a great routine - he would nurse, have some fun, alert time with me, then drift off to sleep. I would put him in his car seat to nap and have some "me" time before he would wake up again. Things were going great ... until ...

THURSDAY all hell broke loose around here. Will would cry uncontrollably. He would not (and still will not) let us put him down anywhere, including his beloved car seat. I was thinking it was gas, so we got gas relief drops -- but those just are not working. My sweet, "easy" boy has turned into a fussy baby! Last night, around 10pm, he just would not stop screaming - nor would he even nurse to quiet him down - so I ran the vacuum cleaner, desperate for something to console him. And it did work. Whew! Its very taxing on parents when the baby just cries and cries and cries.

Anyway, we are pretty certain that Will's problem is a really bad digestive issue with constipation. You can really tell he is straining and is in pain when he cries. Its so sad to see him that way. I'm calling his pediatrician tomorrow to see if there isn't something else we can give him to relieve the gas. I've heard and read that it can be food I am eating that is upsetting him - but I haven't eaten anything this past week unusual from the food I ate from the day he was born. Keep your fingers crossed for us that we will be able to "fix" the problem.

P.S. I've gotten all my medical bills for Will's birth. Between him and me - we racked up close to $18,000.00 in medical bills!!! Who knew having a baby was so freakin' expensive! Its really ridiculous. Thank God for insurance...

Apple of My Eye

My friend, Sarah, made this little apple hat for Will. Could this kid be any cuter!!???

Will turned three weeks old yesterday. He has changed so much. He does more than just eat, poop, and sleep. Ellis and I have had lots of fun interacting with him when he is alert. I read that some babies this age can mimic facial expressions once they can focus on your face - and Ellis taught Will to stick out his tongue. Its a hilarious little face that I wish I could capture on film. I'm now trying to see if I can get him to imitate a smile.

The past four diaper changes have happened with no crying from Will, and one included a change into his PJs. He usually wails as soon as we put him on the changing table, but I've been trying to make diaper changes fun - laughing, singing and talking to him. And I think he likes it!

He had his first "real" bath a couple of days ago. He did NOT like it at all. Plus, Ellis and I both were so nervous about how to do it without hurting him or having him slide into the tub. Anyway, we're working on that one. I also learned my lesson because I rinsed his hair with the tub water only to learn, once we pulled him out of the tub, that he had pooed in the water. Yep - I washed my son's hair with poo water!!!

One thing about Will is that he LOVES to be held. He is not a happy camper if you try to put him down in a pack n play, swing, bouncy seat, etc. I will say that the best item we have for him is his car seat and the kiddopotamus liner for the car seat (see the white cushion in the pictures above) that my friend, Marie, recommended I buy. The liner makes the car seat so warm and cushiony - it is the ONLY thing we can get him to sleep in. (He is sleeping in it right now, actually.)

Night times continue to be a bit trying for Ellis and me. Will typically is most alert at night and, since he won't let us put him down, one of us can't sleep very well. Last night, I nursed him in the side lying position in bed for the first time. It went wonderfully, he latched on the best in that position. And, when he was done eating, he just nestled up to me and went to sleep. I really wish I was comfortable with co-sleeping - or at least that it wasn't as dangerous as they say- because I am about 99% sure Will would comfortably sleep in the crook of my arm for 5 hours or more if he could. And I sure would sleep well too. I could just pull him to me when he was hungry. If any of you have suggestions on what we can do to imitate holding him or being able to sleep with him as close as possible, please let me know!

The past two nights we have discovered the best way to get Will to sleep somewhere other than in our arms. At 1am Tuesday night and 2am last night, we put him in his car seat and went for a drive. I climb in the backseat with him in my PJs and bathrobe, holding his pacifier in place and watching for when he falls asleep. Then, we come home, carry his car seat up to our room and get some much needed sleep. Will sleeps wonderfully tucked in the car seat - buckled and all! Last night, he slept from 2:15 until 6:45!!! You can imagine my shock when I woke up to his noises and whimpers at 6:45. I just wish there was something else he would let us do other than driving him around and making him sleep in a car seat!

Intense Love

Just about everyone told me when I was pregnant that I was about to experience an amazing amount of love for my child once he was born. Yesterday taught me exactly how intense and strong that love had become. I will admit that the first few days of bringing Will home were so frustrating, overwhelming, and scary that I almost didn't consider him as "my son" as much as a responsibility I needed to quickly learn how to take care of. But now that he has been in our lives for over 2 weeks, and as we learn more of what he likes and doesn't like and get past all the "firsts" - I realize more and more each day how much I really love the little booger.

On Wednesday, Will got his first immunization at the 2 week well visit. Yesterday, he slept and slept and slept. He ate a little bit at 9:30 but would barely eat at 12 and just continued to sleep and sleep. (I know - weird for me to be complaining that he slept a lot!) By 2:30, when he wasn't interested in eating again and I realized I hadn't seen him open his eyes since before the 9:30 feeding, I began to really worry. The short of it is that we called his pediatrician twice - including once after hours and just worried and worried. All afternoon, I just stared at Will, willing him to be okay and to just scream for Mommy. I didn't know if he was getting sick, having a bad reaction to the shot or if we were just being paranoid parents. But I also knew, from a mother's point-of-view, that something was definitely different about him. After about 7:00, he finally started to return to "normal" - eating well and being alert and a little fussy. I followed-up with his pediatrician this morning to tell him all seemed okay - he may have just been that 1% of babies that don't react great to the hepatitis shot he had.

Miraciously, the kid almost slept through the night! He slept from 12-4 last night. Wow - what bliss to get so much sleep. Dr. Castles showed us a different way to swaddle him on Wednesday and, so far anyway, it seems to work in calming Will down. At 4am, he ate well and seems to be back to his usual self this morning.

But, anyway, the whole experience made me realize how INTENSE I really love my son. I realized how special his cries are (even if frustrating at times), how wonderful it is to nurse him, and how much I love just holding him in my arms. It hurt me so much yesterday to think anything might be wrong.

Motherhood is an amazing thing. What all those people told me when I was pregnant is true - you cannot imagine how much you will love your child once he is born!!!

Happy Birthday Uncle Steve!

"Oh my Gosh! You're how old??"

Two Week Well Visit

Will went in for his first visit to his pediatrician this morning. It was quite a challenge to make sure everyone was up, dressed, nursed and ready to go for the 8am appointment. But we made it and everything looks wonderful! Will is very healthy - it is such a blessing that there appears to be nothing wrong with him. His circumcision has healed very well. His belly button is almost totally healed - there is a little wound inside where the umbilical cord was, so the doctor has asked us to wait until next Monday before submerging it in water and giving Will a "real" bath.

Here are his stats at 2 weeks:
Head circumference was 25% percentile at 13 7/8 inches.
Weight is at 50% percentile at 7 pounds 2 ounces.
Height is at 75% percentile at 21 1/4 inches. (This one cracked Ellis and I up. He obviously didn't get his Daddy's genes on this one! Ellis said if Will's height continued to be up there percentile-wise he'd want a paternity test! :) )

Attached are a sampling of the billion pictures Ellis and I have taken over the last week and half of little Will's life. (The foot picture is specifically for Jennifer at her request! Doesn't he have the cutest little feet?! :) )

Plotting

"Hmmm....I wonder what I can do tonight to make sure Mom & Dad get as little sleep as possible!"

THANK YOU, NANNY!

"Thank you for coming to visit me, Nanny. I had so much fun playing with you, and I was so comfy sleeping in your arms. I know Mom & Dad really appreciated your help too!"

One Week Old

Ellis and I the morning of the 27th!

Daddy keeps Will company in the nursery after he is born.


Will at less than an hour old.

The first time I held little Will.

Will's first real outfit. He was NOT happy about changing clothes.

We're on our way home! (The going-home outfit I bought him on the day we found out we were having a boy was way too big for the little guy. I just put the onesie on him and the hat kept sliding over his eyes! :) )

Will's "first meal" at home.

Will turned one week old today. Sometimes I can't believe he is already been in our lives a week and other times I feel as if he has been in our lives much longer. Each day of motherhood has its own challenges, but each day also gets easier and easier. Will still won't go down at night - he likes to be held by someone the whole night. Ellis has done a superb job of using his "night owl" habits to let Mommy sleep. He usually takes the first shift, sitting in bed with Will while I sleep. When Will wakes up to be fed around 4am or so - I take over for the "morning shift." It works out pretty well. It is amazing how your life quickly centers around every 2-3 hours when you have a newborn baby. I would imagine it would be a thousand times easier if I bottle-fed Will because someone else could help out with his feedings, but I treasure the fact that Will is able to nurse and that he and I have our special moment of bonding when he nurses. Whenever I get frustrated, I try to remind myself of that.

In just a week, Will has really grown. He loves loves loves to be held. Hates to be diaper changed or messed with in any way. :) He has learned to go down in a pack n play bassinet during the day and I feel confident that he will do it in the night time soon too. Today, Ellis put together his swing, which Will used for the first time tonight. It worked beautifully - he loved it and went straight to sleep. He is still sleeping in it now! :)

Being parents is definitely the most challenging and yet the most rewarding experience ever. I continue to be amazed at how much I love Will - and seem to love him more and more each day.

At this "one-week" anniversary, we just finished looking at a CD of over a 100 pictures that Grandpa took of Will on the day he was born. It was SO wonderful to have all of those pictures, particularly because I missed most of it because I was in recovery. Some of those pictures are posted with this blog entry (hard to pick a few to share from so many!). But it made me think back on what it was like the day he entered our lives.

Last Wednesday, Ellis and I nervously checked in at the hospital at 10am. They were swamped and it was a bit chaotic. Apparently, everyone else decided to have babies on the 27th! So we were put in a small triage room because that was about all they had left! I immediately had an IV put in (ouch)! And sat in the hospital bed with the heart monitor listening to Will's heartbeat. Ellis's mother and Aunt Mary came at about 11 and my parents arrived shortly thereafter. They were able to come back into our tiny room while we patiently waited. Because of how busy everything was that day, they kept having to push back the surgery time (orignally scheduled for 12). Just when I was getting bored and not nervous anymore, the nurse came into my room at 10 to 2, saying that she had my pre-op meds to give. Mom was in the room at the time and so she left, knowing that I was about to go to surgery. The next 15 minutes were probably some of the most terrifying in my life! :) Suddenly, there was so much activity, I got SOOOO nervous. One nurse was throwing scrubs at Ellis, another was giving me gas pills and other miscellaneous pills or medication in my IV, a resident with anesthesiology was talking to me about the spinal they were going to give me - it was chaos!! And I must admit I suddenly really felt like I just wanted to scream - WAIT! But they wheeled my bed into the surgery room and had me crawl over to the surgical table. Ellis was waiting in another room while they prepped me. The spinal hurt but was not the most horrible thing in the world. Dr. Risinger let me hang on to her hand while they gave it to me and the pain was over pretty quickly. Once the spinal was in, my butt got really warm, then my legs and then my toes. Kind of felt like when your legs fall asleep and start tingling when they wake back up - but really warm. Finally, I couldn't feel a thing and they raised the screen. Then, Ellis came into the room. I was extremely relieved the instant he was there - sitting in a chair right by my head and holding my hand.

After maybe a minute after Ellis was by my side, I felt some tugging and pulling, and we wondered if they were getting close. I think Ellis and I both were just a little shocked this was actually happening. Then, suddenly, we heard this loud cry! They lowered the screen so I could see little Will come into the world. I touched his little foot and then Will commenced to greet us by peeing at Ellis and me!!! :) Hilarious! They quickly raised the screen before Ellis or me got showered!

After a few moments, someone brought Will over to Ellis and Ellis held Will close to my head. The best I could do was stroke his head with one of my hands while the doctors finished the surgery. Once they were about done and ready to close me up, Ellis left with little Will to take him to the nursery. Unfortunately, although the doctor told me I could see Will within an hour after the surgery, the nurses did not bring him to me in recovery or even after I was wheeled down to my post-partum room. It was a good 2 to 2 1/2 hours before I saw him. Although that makes me upset to think about, and I was unbelievably anxious at the time, I safely had Will in my arms eventually and nursed him right away.

The moment the nurse passed him to me for the first time was one of the happiest moments of my life!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Will is now 5 days old and has been home for 3 days and 2 nights. Parenthood is definitely something to adjust to, but I also can't believe how much I love this little booger. The first night was hard because Will did not want to be put down at all. Ellis and I switched off who held him throughout the night, so we were so tired Sunday. Grandma came and held him Sunday morning so Mommy & Daddy could get some sleep! :) But he has since gotten used to the house and now lets us put him down after he falls asleep. He is asleep in his pack n play right now. :)

Nursing continues to go really well. I'm happy that his pediatrician recommended we use a pacifier. It really kicks in his calming reflex, and Will has no trouble figuring out which nipple gives him food! Speaking of his pediatrician - Dr. Castles is wonderful! He checked on us each morning in the hospital and, after I checked in Sunday morning with a nurse in his office, he called me Sunday afternoon to find out how things are going. How many doctors would call on a Sunday on New Year's Eve day?? He said he would call me tomorrow morning to make sure things continue to go well. I just know Ellis and I picked the right doctor to look over little Will. (Thank you so much for the rec. Jennifer!!!!)

As many of you know, I never changed a single diaper before Will was born. The first one was in the hospital with Grandma and his daddy - and we did not do too bad except I was so nervous because Will just cried and cried. But I must say I'm already an expert at getting those diapers changed. Will absolutely hates it but he calms down right toward the end because he knows he is about to get some milk! (We usually change his diaper when he wakes up to eat.)

Anyway - those are a few updates on Will. He is just the sweetest thing -- I could stare at him for hours, and often do!!

Nanny is coming down to stay with us tomorrow for a few days, which I know will be a good relief for both Ellis and I to do some "normal" things around the house.

(By the way - I think Will looks JUST like his Daddy. I think he has Ellis's eyes and lips but possibly my nose.)