Visiting Will's Cousins

Will and Anna first meet. Anna seemed happy about it but Will was a bit unsure....

and then Will commenced to screaming, upsetting his little cousin. Well, hopefully they will get along better when they are older! :)

Sweet Cousin Kate holding Will.

Little Anna!

Will enjoying some time with his Aunt Kathy.

Saturday we drove up to see Will's Nanny, Aunt Kathy and Uncle Clarence, and his cousins Kate and Anna. It was the first time I was able to see Anna. I realized I had already forgotten what its like to have a tiny newborn in your arms!! Anna is just precious and soooo tiny!

(Will did wonderfully on his first "long-distance" trip. Its about an hour and half to see Ellis's family and Will slept the whole way. The boy loves car rides!)

2 Month Check-up

Last Wednesday, Will turned 2 months old. Wow, has time flown by. We went for his big 2 month check-up during which he had to get 4 shots! :( He actually did really well and the pediatrician says Will is looking really good and healthy!! What more could a mother ask for?

I wish I'd brought the camera because Will just laughed and giggled and played while the doctor was in there. He only screamed temporarily when he was prodded with that instrument-thing in his ear (and the shots, of course).

His stats:
Weight: 10lb and 13oz (25th percentile - dr. assured us it was okay he dropped in percentile for weight)
Length: 23 3/8 in (still 75th percentile)
Head: 15 1/4 in (25th percentile)

So we've got a long, lean baby!

When Will got his shots, I held my cheek to his and kept promising it would be better soon. Despite losing hearing temporarily in one ear, he and I both did okay. Will quit wailing as soon as it was over and my eyes only got blurry. When we got home, Will slept for 5 hours straight. He started having a fever late that afternoon. Poor guy was so hot - but it broke by Friday afternoon.

Now, that he has got his first round of immunizations, Will and I are venturing out more. Today, I went across town to Babies R Us and to get some formula at Sam's all by myself. He did beautifully!! And so did I! Yea!

A fabulous picture

Grandpa took this one. Isn't it great? This is one to frame!

Visit from Uncle Steve and Aunt Mary

Last week, Uncle Steve and Aunt Mary visited Will for the first time. I think Will had a blast with them. He sure wishes they didn't live so far away and hopes to see them again soon!! We love you guys!

Jinxed

Well - I jinxed myself. Will has refused to take naps outside of someone's arms again and, last night, pitched a fit anytime I left the nursery after I swore he was deep asleep. Right now, we're playing "spit the pacifier out, cry, put the pacifier back in, calm down, and do it all over again" as I try to get him to take a nap in his car seat. Sigh.

He is a cutie though... :)

Playing Dress-Up

Fun in the Bumpo Seat

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"Big" Changes

I can't believe how quickly my little boy is growing. Hooray for soy formula because Will really is a completely different baby. (And I suspect some of it just has to do with the fact that he is almost 2 months old now.) Will now goes down for naps and doesn't have to always sleep in somebody's arms. (Although Ellis and I still enjoy snuggling up with him!!) He also seems to finally have his days and nights right, going to sleep for longer and quicker at night -- well, usually anyway. At night, I no longer have to sleep in that modified inclined-type position I used to. He wakes up to eat every 3-4 hours. Ellis takes duty from 10pm-2am and then I take over from 2am. After he eats, we get Will asleep in his car seat in his room and then turn on the monitor and go back to bed. (Yes, he still only sleeps in the car seat.) During the day, he is starting to take naps. I am able to get things done around the house while he naps. As much as I love holding and snuggling with him, it is so nice to get a break for a few hours each day. I really feel like my world is getting more "normal." :) We're finally getting the hang of this parent-thing. (Don't get me wrong - still tons of challenges and I'm still leary of taking him anywhere by myself, but it is all getting a little easier day by day.)

When Will is awake, he is so alert and playful now. Yesterday, I decided to try his bumpo seat just to see what he would do. Although babies aren't supposed to use it until they have full head control, Will LOVES it. He loves to be able to sit up and look at us. He just giggles and laughs. It is so much fun to interact with him. (A short video of his first time in the seat is in the post above.)

Other big milestones is that he now eats at least 4 ounces - usually 5 ounces - of formula. (It was 2-3 for a while.) So we've moved on to the big bottles now. He has also moved up a size in diapers!! Bye-bye newborn-size and hello size 1! (Julie actually pointed out to us that she was surprised he was still in newborn diapers when she and Josh visited Will this weekend. Ellis and I never really thought about moving him up a size because the diapers did still fit. But then we thought about it and realized they were starting to leak more and more. So, we put the size 1 on and I think even Will likes them better!) These size 1 diapers seem so big though! I can't believe how big my baby is.

I must admit - the first 5 weeks were quite rough. Somedays I just wondered how we were going to do this. But so many people told us it gets easier. They also told us we would not
"remember" how hard it was or how little sleep we really got. At one point, Ellis told me that all that must be true because otherwise no one would do it more than once! :) And everyone was so right. Already, the difficulty of those early weeks is becoming a fuzzy memory. What I really remember is how small, cute, and vulnerable, little Will was and how fast he is growing now. I love him SOOOOOOO much!!

Catching some ZZZZs Over the Last 4 Weeks

The Agonizing Decision

Will on breastmilk.

Will on formula.

After days of heartache, indecision, and - I'll just admit it - crying, I have decided not to breastfeed Will anymore. We went back to nursing on Thursday and things quickly went downhill. By 1pm, Will started colic crying. Friday, he cried ALL day long. He slept for a total of maybe an hour and a half between 8am and 6pm - the rest was mostly crying or fussy awakeness. There was no playing or happy alert time. As soon as we put him back on formula Friday night, he got better. Saturday, he took his regular naps and had tons of incredibly alert, happy moments. He kept confirming for me and Ellis that we made the right choice.

"Mommy Guilt" will probably plague me for a long time. I know "breast is best" and yet, for Will, I really think formula is the best thing. We could keep working on it to find out what exactly he is intolerant of in my milk - but the process could take weeks and weeks and, meanwhile, Will suffers each time we try to give him breastmilk. His tummy obviously suffers as soon as he tries to digest my milk. On formula, he is a completely different, very happy baby. And a happy baby makes a better Mom and Dad too. In the end, Ellis and I feel is is the best choice for Will and for the family. Bottlefeeding can still have intimate moments of bonding for me and Will (and Dad gets to get involved more too).

Will certainly has shown me that the world revolves around him and not the other way around. I planned on having natural delivery - took the birthing class and everything - and the boy would not not turn around, so he was delivered with a planned c-section instead. Then, I really wanted to breastfeed. I took the breastfeeding class, bought the big, special pump, even had a lactation consultant come to the house to help Will and I work through some discomfort - but Will has an intolerance to something in my milk and it just makes him hurt.

So - there you have it. Probably one of the first, major decisions I have had to make as a parent. I have to believe this is the right choice. Our family is a much happier place, and Will certainly seems happier. He at least got a good 5 weeks of breastmilk early in his life, which I think is the most important for him. And I am freezing all my milk that I currently pump for my relief as production slows down. Hopefully, I will find a way to give him some of that milk later on when he can take it.

If any formula feeding moms out there have advice or ideas to make formula feeding easier (washing, sterlizing and preparing bottles, etc), please share!

Anna Leigh Burgess

Will's "baby" cousin was born on Friday. Aunt Kathy and Anna are doing well, and I hear that Kate is already being a wonderful, big sister!! Ellis went up to see them Friday, and Will and I hope to travel and visit them all soon.

Six Weeks

My little boy turned 6 weeks today! I really noticed lately that he is getting so much bigger. I promise to get updated pictures loaded on to blogger soon to share.

Will has been on the Neocate formula since last Saturday. He continues to do better and better. He and I even did our first outing alone together on Monday. I felt like it was the biggest accomplishment ever!! I went downtown to his pediatrician's office to get more Neocate to give to Will. (Thank God the doctor is still giving me free samples of the stuff. Neocate is like liquid gold it is so freakin' expensive.) And I stopped by the dry cleaner's on the way home. I thought about getting a few items at the grocery store too, but decided not to push it. I know it seems small, but it felt great to do something completely on my own with Will.

In the wee hours of tomorrow morning, I am going to start nursing Will again. (I will probably give him the last formula bottle around 2am.) Please keep your fingers crossed that this time he will accept my milk. I am not sure we will keep nursing if this does not work. Also, poor Will, now has constipation to deal with. We are giving him prune juice mixed with formula 3 times a day. We just started today, and I really hope that gets better. Poor guy's face would turn red and he would literally cry out in pain from the constipation. I told him this afternoon that I promised all these intestinal problems would get better soon. I sure hope so because it is heartbreaking to see my baby hurt.

Uncle Steve and Aunt Mary come in to town this weekend to meet their nephew for the first time. I am so excited for them to meet Will!!

Also, Will's baby cousin will be born on Friday. We are so excited for Aunt Kathy and Uncle Clarence and Cousin Kate. We can't wait to meet the little girl soon!

Smiling!!

Will smiled and cooed for the first time yesterday!!!! What a way to completely melt my heart. Grandma was here to witness it, and Ellis got home in time to catch the fun before Will fell back asleep. Ellis and I have since tried to capture his smile, but haven't done a great job yet. These pictures come close though. There is a sparkle in Will's eyes that weren't there before! This weekend has been full of kisses, playing with toys and rattles, and making funny faces and noises.

Will had continued to do poorly last week so, on Friday, the pediatrician had us give him Pedialite for about 12 hours to clean his system. Then, Saturday morning we began feeding him Neocate formula. Amazingly, by noon he was already tons and tons better!! He has not grunted in pain since! The inconsolable crying and colic behavior of the past week is almost gone. I am so happy that we know what his problem was before and don't have to see a GI or anything to figure it out.

Early Saturday afternoon, Will was alert and playful for the first time in almost a week and a half. I laid him down in his activity gym and he cooed at the toys to my utter astonishment. Then, he smiled at me when I made funny faces and noises at him. It was such a wonderful moment.

Will continues to do really well with the formula and I can't wait to give the good report to his doctor tomorrow morning. I am hoping to be able to start breastfeeding him again tomorrow. I am not a fan of formula - it smells bad, its messy, and Will spits it up everywhere. Plus, you have to deal with all these bottles. Much easier to nurse Will when he is hungry, especially at night!

I have not eaten dairy since last Monday, although it is much more difficult than I thought it would be. Not eating dairy means cutting out a lot more than just milk and cheese. There are about 15 ingredients that come from milk, and one of them is in just about any processed item at the store. It makes eating out extremely difficult too. Some of my cereal had a milk ingredient in it, many foods that say they are "non-dairy" aren't really (just lactose-free). Lots of places use milk, even though you wouldn't know it. My favorite fast food - Chick Fil A drags the chicken in milk so that is out for a while. Just about every dessert item is out for me - try to find one made without milk or butter - and that includes just about all chocolates. Kellymom.com has been an enormous wealth of information for me to learn how to read ingredient labels, etc. I have become one of those who takes 3 minutes to buy a product because I have to read everything. However, some surprises have been soy milk creamer and rice dream ice-cream (yum!). Rice milk really isn't so bad. Anyway, I will do this as long as I can - I really do miss nursing Will and am not ready to give that up yet. (Plus, did I mention I hate formula and late night feedings?)

Although we have seen significant improvement this weekend, things are still a little shaky in our household. Will does not like to be put down at all, which means someone must hold him at all times. (Reason why I don't blog often or respond to email like I used to.) This definitely restricts my ability to go anywhere with him. We haven't gone anywhere together since he was about 3 weeks old. Grandma has been enormously helpful by coming over a few hours each day so that I can get things done around the house or just take a break. She watched Will all afternoon so Ellis and I could get out of the house for a much needed break. So a huge THANK YOU to Grandma.

Oh! And we are such proud parents. Y'all - Will has amazing head control for a 5 1/2 week old. He can hold it steady and look around. He can push himself up, shakily, on his forearms. He can hold his head up just shy of 90 degrees on his own. And, when you pull him up by his hands when he is laying down, he can keep his head in line with his body - something I understand does not usually come until a baby is 4 months old. All of this wears him out though and he can't do it long - but he is getting stronger and stronger.