Intense Love

Just about everyone told me when I was pregnant that I was about to experience an amazing amount of love for my child once he was born. Yesterday taught me exactly how intense and strong that love had become. I will admit that the first few days of bringing Will home were so frustrating, overwhelming, and scary that I almost didn't consider him as "my son" as much as a responsibility I needed to quickly learn how to take care of. But now that he has been in our lives for over 2 weeks, and as we learn more of what he likes and doesn't like and get past all the "firsts" - I realize more and more each day how much I really love the little booger.

On Wednesday, Will got his first immunization at the 2 week well visit. Yesterday, he slept and slept and slept. He ate a little bit at 9:30 but would barely eat at 12 and just continued to sleep and sleep. (I know - weird for me to be complaining that he slept a lot!) By 2:30, when he wasn't interested in eating again and I realized I hadn't seen him open his eyes since before the 9:30 feeding, I began to really worry. The short of it is that we called his pediatrician twice - including once after hours and just worried and worried. All afternoon, I just stared at Will, willing him to be okay and to just scream for Mommy. I didn't know if he was getting sick, having a bad reaction to the shot or if we were just being paranoid parents. But I also knew, from a mother's point-of-view, that something was definitely different about him. After about 7:00, he finally started to return to "normal" - eating well and being alert and a little fussy. I followed-up with his pediatrician this morning to tell him all seemed okay - he may have just been that 1% of babies that don't react great to the hepatitis shot he had.

Miraciously, the kid almost slept through the night! He slept from 12-4 last night. Wow - what bliss to get so much sleep. Dr. Castles showed us a different way to swaddle him on Wednesday and, so far anyway, it seems to work in calming Will down. At 4am, he ate well and seems to be back to his usual self this morning.

But, anyway, the whole experience made me realize how INTENSE I really love my son. I realized how special his cries are (even if frustrating at times), how wonderful it is to nurse him, and how much I love just holding him in my arms. It hurt me so much yesterday to think anything might be wrong.

Motherhood is an amazing thing. What all those people told me when I was pregnant is true - you cannot imagine how much you will love your child once he is born!!!