Will on breastmilk.
Will on formula.
After days of heartache, indecision, and - I'll just admit it - crying, I have decided not to breastfeed Will anymore. We went back to nursing on Thursday and things quickly went downhill. By 1pm, Will started colic crying. Friday, he cried ALL day long. He slept for a total of maybe an hour and a half between 8am and 6pm - the rest was mostly crying or fussy awakeness. There was no playing or happy alert time. As soon as we put him back on formula Friday night, he got better. Saturday, he took his regular naps and had tons of incredibly alert, happy moments. He kept confirming for me and Ellis that we made the right choice.
"Mommy Guilt" will probably plague me for a long time. I know "breast is best" and yet, for Will, I really think formula is the best thing. We could keep working on it to find out what exactly he is intolerant of in my milk - but the process could take weeks and weeks and, meanwhile, Will suffers each time we try to give him breastmilk. His tummy obviously suffers as soon as he tries to digest my milk. On formula, he is a completely different, very happy baby. And a happy baby makes a better Mom and Dad too. In the end, Ellis and I feel is is the best choice for Will and for the family. Bottlefeeding can still have intimate moments of bonding for me and Will (and Dad gets to get involved more too).
Will certainly has shown me that the world revolves around him and not the other way around. I planned on having natural delivery - took the birthing class and everything - and the boy would not not turn around, so he was delivered with a planned c-section instead. Then, I really wanted to breastfeed. I took the breastfeeding class, bought the big, special pump, even had a lactation consultant come to the house to help Will and I work through some discomfort - but Will has an intolerance to something in my milk and it just makes him hurt.
So - there you have it. Probably one of the first, major decisions I have had to make as a parent. I have to believe this is the right choice. Our family is a much happier place, and Will certainly seems happier. He at least got a good 5 weeks of breastmilk early in his life, which I think is the most important for him. And I am freezing all my milk that I currently pump for my relief as production slows down. Hopefully, I will find a way to give him some of that milk later on when he can take it.
If any formula feeding moms out there have advice or ideas to make formula feeding easier (washing, sterlizing and preparing bottles, etc), please share!
4 comments:
Will certainly let y'all know who is boss! Soy formula saved us from lots of baby tears. According to our Peditrician the dishwasher is all the sterilazation you need. We got a couple of the bottle containers for the nipples and top parts and considered the bottles sterile enough. Avent bottles are SO SO So much easier to scoop formula into than the other brands with more narrow tops. I liked the 4 ounces ones for the first few months, then the larger ones. Also the formula dispenser is key for outings and travel. We never warmed bottles- just tap water or room temperature bottled water and Durham never minded and it was easier that way. Oddly enough the switch to regular milk was completly uneventful.
Oh Emily, I know you are battling a tough decision, but as you are learning, parenting is all about making the best decision for YOUR child, not anyone elses. You and Ellis have made a healthy decision for your whole family!! I love the pictures of Will with the different faces.
Good choice mama! This is a perfect example of the best laid plans often go awry. That happens a lot being a mother!
i found it easier to use a formula pitcher to make a day's formula at a time. that way, when your little one is screaming for a bottle or you are trying to get out the door to go somewhere (like work), you don't actually have to mix--just pour. we sterilized with a dishwasher as well.
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