Random thoughts at 30 weeks

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I am 30 weeks today. About 6-7 weeks from today, Ellis and I will welcome Catie and Carter into the world. As my pregnancy comes nearer to an end, I am an overwhelming mix of emotions, which I'm sure has a lot to do with all those pregnancy hormones running around in my body. I am very eager for this pregnancy to be over - it has not exactly been comfortable, to say the least, and I would like to have my body back. I've tried not to be a whiner, but sometimes I just have to whine to Ellis and others about whatever ails me that day.

But I am also sad that it will end soon and this will be (should be!) the last time I am pregnant. It is an amazing thing to be pregnant, and overall, I really should not complain. I will miss feeling the bumps, kicks and nudges of the girls.

I am eager to meet the girls and go head first into being a mother of twins and a 3 year old so that I can stop stressing about the unknown. But I also really want them to WAIT the full 6-7 weeks we have left. I am well aware that many twins come at 34-35 weeks, or earlier, and I want them to stay in there and continue to grow and develop those tiny lungs.

I also am fearful of exactly how big I am going to be after the next 6-7 months. There is very very little in my closet that fits now as my stomach gets bigger and bigger. I think a new belly picture is in order to capture my growing belly for posterity. :-)

And although I am very ready for the girls to arrive, I also do not want them to come yet because I am trying hard to cherish these last few weeks of Will being the only child. It makes me well up with tears to think about what it is going to be like for him when the girls arrive. It will be hard at first, I know. Although I genuinely believe that he can be a big helper and will be a great brother to them both.